The Olympics: Week One

Obviously the rest of the world is as fascinated by the Olympics as I am. I say obviously because the ratings for the Olympics beat out AMERICAN IDOL (which I'm totally not watching this year, btw). But I digress. I'll move along to some of the highlights from this week's sporting events.

Opening Ceremony: It sucked. I know you're probably waiting for descriptions or reasons why, but I don't really have any. I just know crap when I see it. Bed sheets that look like mountains? Really? Lame torch lighting and engineering malfunctions? Though I'm sure it's unfair to compare the Canadians to the Chinese, I'm going to anyway.

I enjoyed the moguls immensely, though it caused me to have sympathetic knee injury from the comfort of my couch (hey, it's a real condition). And I've especially enjoyed the women's downhill events and the shiny medals that have accompanied them. And I'm not afraid to admit that I watch with anticipation as skiers wipe out down the hug icy mountain (medical condition known as couch adrenaline rush).

Pairs Ice Skating was like watching car wreck after car wreck. How did these people even make to the Olympics? Eve I could go out on the ice, fling myself up in the air and then fall down painfully, injuring myself in several unusual locations. Someone needs to ask the pivotal question: What would Brian Boitano do?

Shaun White was incredible, and I had to put the smack down on my friend Mark Henry (the author, not the wrestler) who claims that Shaun needs a little fashion advice and a new haircut. I explained to Mark that snowboarders follow the fashion laws of weed, therefore exempting Shaun White of fashion mistakes. Mark protested and continues to defend his position. Expect mud wrestling and insult hurling to commence.

I enjoyed the trash talking between the Russian dude and the American ice skater (though the Russian gets more points in the trash talking areas) Those Russians are good at it! But skating is the sport and he came out with the Silver. The costumes have been particularly interesting , managing to look flamboyant and painful while molesting one's private areas. It's not an easy look to achieve. Also the music has given me perpetual WTH? face. The fuggirls said it best, "some of the music sounded like it was composed by Ross Geller on his Casio."

Don't forget to check in on Twitter @leahhodge where I'm tweeting the events live!